Glenn's all-time favourite epitaph, which may be apocryphal, but appeared in one of those books on famous words carved on tombstones, was I told you I was sick. I thought of that tonight when I read this site, the link for which comes from www.widowsquest.com by Anna Farmery. It's an article about the high mortality rate among widows and widowers following the death of (particularly a long-term) spouse.
The link is: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6583681.stm
If only I could be sure it was true in my case ...
My ex-husband died in March 2006 - it says everything, and nothing. We parted at a time when we were both struggling with depression, and couldn't find our way back to each other. Together 27 years, apart for 2. At its best, our relationship overcame discrepancies in background, interests, and age - and now he's gone, & I feel my life is over. I can't admit to those close to me how devastated I am by his death, so I'm trying this way of expressing myself - who knows, it might help.
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2 comments:
Siempre,
How are you doing, you haven't posted in awhile? I'm hoping it's because you've found hope.
Sherry
Hi Sherry,
Wow - is somebody actually reading my blog? You're the first post I've had. Thank you for your interest. I am OK - I am just so busy all the time that often the things that are for me don't happen.
With three little kids and a full-time job - I find that by the time I leave work, pick up the boys, supervise homework, baths, dinner, bedtime, making school lunches, I am actually falling asleep. Once last year I literally fell - to the floor - and banged my face so badly I had to call an after-hours doctor to fix me up. Because I teach English at a private school with extremely high academic standards, there is a lot of pressure to perform and also a lot of marking. About 15 class sets in a 10 - week term.
I think one of the hardest things about being alone - to be honest I'm not totally alone, my sister lives upstairs - but it's not the same as the other parent, when there's no question of doing a favour - is having absolutely no time for myself. That's also why I've got so stuck in my grief, I think - you have to work through it, and for that you need quiet time alone.
Whine, whine. I have also suffered from depression and OCD on and off for many years, and was hospitalised for post partum depression for three months five years ago. That's actually what broke up my marriage. I never in a million years thought we would ever separate. But we did, and I did my best to get over that . Glenn's death has been the culmination of a bad five years. Anyway, I imagine you didn't post to hear the story of my life. Thanks again for taking the trouble to get in touch. It's nice to know someone's out there.
Regards,
Sempre
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