The banshee's lonely croon

'Rumours ran along the valley like the banshee's lonely croon ... ' (The Rising of the Moon)

A "banshee" from the Gaelic "bean si" means "old woman." In Irish mythology, the banshee is a spirit, thought to take the form of an old woman, who would foretell death by mournfully singing or wailing outside a person's house.

I have a banshee in my head. I hear her wailing at all sorts of hours and in all manner of places. I'm carrying on a conversation with somebody, or standing in a queue somewhere, and all the while I can hear this howling and wailing. What sets her off isn't easy to predict, but naturally it's always something to do with Glenn. I read one of his letters, or I drive past the road to our old house, or think of something we did together, or remember the way he called me 'sweetheart', or remember the way his skin felt under my hands - and suddenly, there she is again.

I know that when people hear voices in their heads it usually means they need locking up. Of course, those voices usually seem to tell them things. Apparently auditory hallucinations are considered much more sinister than the visual variety - presumably because most of us at some time have sworn we saw something that we couldn't have seen. But I've never heard of anyone else hearing a banshee. They're supposed to herald a death, not remind one of it, I believe.

At least, I think it's a banshee. It's the only explanation that makes sense. I wish I could download it to an MP3 file and broadcast it, let everyone hear what it's like in there, when all the time I'm walking around, going on with my tedious life, letting the world think I'm getting on with it, moving forward, letting time heal all wounds, believing everything happens for a reason ... let them hear the shrieks and howls of denial and loss and fury and betrayal.

Maybe none of this would have happened if only I'd remembered to close the curtains before lighting the lamps. Everyone knows that you have to do that if you want to keep the banshee away from your home.