Random Email #3 - to S.K.

Karen, the psychologist, said something which I thought very insightful. She observed from things I'd said that Glenn allowed me to be more myself than I could be with most people, including (especially) my own family, that he loved aspects of me that had been disapproved of or discouraged in my upbringing - I related to him in a very different way from anyone else - not only in the obvious ways. Things like my natural tendency to be emotional, intense, passionate, whatever you want to call it, Glenn thought were admirable, exciting - but in the minds of most people, I'm either not like that, or I shouldn't be. And now he's gone, that part of me has gone with him - it's not part of the good little girl persona I'm stuck with, that I developed as a child to get approval. I had never looked at it that way - I guess I just took it for granted. It seems to me that you are the same with everybody, which is both admirable and well-adjusted. This theory explains why I feel as if I died when he did, even though I'm still walking around